


little do you know

by annadavidson



Series: that which shaped the century (a dragon age dual au) [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Dragon Age AU, Dragon Age Dual AU, Dragon Age Prompt Exchange, Dual AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9666923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annadavidson/pseuds/annadavidson
Summary: Just being near the Gallows was unnerving.Prompt: Hawke is finally allowed to see Bethany after years pass with her in the Circle. They don’t really believe the few letters she sends. Is she okay? Do the Templars hurt her? Is it worse? Hawke hates her being there, but surrounded by Templars at the gallows, they have to piece truth from her tales.





	

Just being near the Gallows was unnerving. Actually being _in_ them? That made him very uncomfortable. There was a part of him that thought this was a trap. That Meredith was finally tired of dealing with him. That she had snapped and decided to throw him into the Gallows under the disguise of visiting his sister. Honestly, if there was a Hawke sibling Meredith was most likely to grow tired of, he would have thought it was his twin, Vera. At the very least, he had helped the Templars from time to time. He, while expressing wishes for the Circle to be better, for Meredith to relinquish her iron grasp, also advocated for a peaceful solution.

There had been enough bloodshed in his life. He didn’t want anymore.

And while he desperately wanted to see his younger sister, he wasn’t a fool. No, he hadn’t told Vera where he was going. The only person in the manor he’d told was Kenrick. He’d left under the pretense of running an errand with Kenrick, though like usual he’d taken his staff and the other man had grabbed his sword. Even if it was under the disguise of a simple errand, Kirkwall wasn’t a place to walk around unarmed.

He’d met up with Fenris and Sebastian in Lowtown, trusting all three of the men he traveled with not to go running to his twin. He trusted Vera and knew if she found out, she’d kill him for keeping it from her, but… But he already had one sister in the Gallows. He didn’t want to get his other one anywhere near that Maker-forsaken place. That was also a reason behind him not requesting any help from any of the other mages he knew. He didn’t want Merrill or Anders anywhere near here. He also didn’t want to approach the Gallows with a small army. Three seemed like a good number of companions to bring.

However he knew he couldn’t bring them into the Gallows. If he did that, the Templars would think he was trying to break his sister out.

“Are you sure about this, Derek?” Sebastian asked when they arrived at the Gallows.

Derek pulled his eyes away from the prison turned Circle to his companions. Earlier Fenris had made his unhappiness with the plan clear. Now he could tell from the looks on all three of them that neither of them liked the idea of him going in there alone.

“Mages go to the Circle,” Sebastian pointed out, “They don’t come back, _especially_ apostates.” He was stating the obvious, but he felt like it needed to be said. He felt like Derek needed the reminder.

But that was exactly the reason why Derek hadn’t asked Vera, Anders, or Merrill to come with him. He was willing to take that risk, but he wasn’t willing to make them take it too.

“I’ll be fine,” he tried to assure them. Even he didn’t fully believe his words or the smile he put on. “I’ll come out in half an hour to check in with you.”

“A lot can go wrong in half an hour,” Kenrick stated, his voice its usual quiet tone but with a protective edge to it. His eyes glanced around the Gallows and then at the Templar waiting for Derek. This obviously felt like a possible trap for the Hawke, but he couldn’t help wondering if it could be more than that. Could Meredith be planning a trap for the four of them? He thought it was possible with her erratic behavior that if she went after the Hawkes, she’d go after their associates as well. Not that it was much of a concern. If anyone came after the Hawkes, his sword would cut them down. At the same time he knew that if anyone came after him, the Hawkes’ magic would strike any foe down.

“Why can’t at least one of us come with you?” he asked after a pause, his gaze falling back onto the mage.

Derek shook his head. _“No._ If something happens, I need you three to gather Vera and the others.”

“That’s a _terrible_ plan,” Sebastian spoke up again.

Derek grinned at him. “When have I ever had a _good_ plan?” His attempt to lighten the mood was clearly unsuccessful. All three men met his grin with a frown. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and shifted on his feet. He reached forward, gently taking Fenris’ hand. “I’ll be fine.”

“I still don’t like this plan,” the elf replied. His feelings toward mages weren’t a secret, and neither were his feelings toward _this_ mage. “I trust you, and I trust Bethany.”

Derek smiled softly, bringing Fenris’ hand up and placing a kiss against it. He had the satisfaction of seeing the elf’s face darken with the traces of a blush. He held onto his hand for a moment before letting his grasp slip.

“I’ll be back,” he promised. He gave them one last smile, hoping to convince them and himself that everything was going to be okay. He turned on his heels and made his way over to the waiting Templar.

 _Cullen_. He was glad to see a friendly face. He had no doubt that there were many Templars who, despite him occasionally assisting them, held no love for him. Cullen, on the other hand, was at least friendly toward him. He had his doubts about Meredith, that much was clear. Whether or not he would act on those doubts, Derek wasn’t sure. Either way, Cullen was a high ranking Templar and a good ally to have. And Derek was determined to keep whatever semblance of a friendship between them there was.

He came to stand in front of Cullen, reaching up and pushing the hood of his elegant black robes off. “I hope you don’t mind if I keep my staff.” It was more for show, saying that. Keeping the icy blue staff wasn’t an option. The Templars would have to pry it from his cold, dead hand. He didn’t necessarily need it to cast magic – it was more for directing his magic better than actual necessity to cast. He was still dangerous without it, but it was comforting for him to keep it. Even if the Templars dispelled his magic, he could use the staff. Not only was it good for spells, but it also made a wonderful bat to smack people around with!

“I doubt I could get you to relinquish it, if I wanted to,” the other man admitted, earning a grin from the mage.

“You’re welcome to try, but I’m quite attached to it.”

Cullen paused. The playful grin on the mage’s face made him question whether or not they were still talking about the staff strapped to his back. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and tried to change the subject.

“I’m glad you’re finally able to see your sister,” he said honestly. He didn’t have to be told to guess how much Bethany was missed. He’d been there when she’d been taken to the Circle. He remembered the clear threats from both Derek and Vera. He remembered being surprised that Carver wasn’t there before he’d heard the rumors of the young man joining the Grey Wardens. Anyone with eyes could see how close the Hawke family had been and still was. Whenever he thought about it, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about his sister, from wondering what it would be like to not be allowed to see her – to know she was right there but denied the chance to be with her.

He looked over Derek’s shoulder at the three men he’d brought with him. He noticed all three of him were watching like, well, like _hawks._ He was surprised, though, that they were all he saw.

“Will your sister not be joining you?” he asked curiously.

Derek shook his head again. “I have one sister in the Gallows,” he stated firmly, “I don’t want another one here.”

Cullen nodded, in a way understanding. No matter what he believed about or felt toward mages, he understood loyalty. He understood that Derek and Vera would do whatever it took to protect their friends and especially their family. Again, he’d seen it the day he’d had to take Bethany to the Circle.

“I doubt she’ll be happy with you.”

Derek lightly laughed. “Oh Vera will be _furious._ If you don’t see me again, she’s probably killed me. But that’s only _if_ she finds out.” He held his hand out toward the Templar. “And what’s a little secret between friends?”

Cullen hesitated, looking from the offered hand up to its owner. He’d seen Vera furious before. Know someone for so many years and it was hard not to see a multitude of emotions expressed.  He didn’t like the idea of that fury being directed toward him. Eventually he gave a short nod and shook Derek’s hand.

“Unless she asks,” he replied, “I don’t see why it should be brought up.”

He motioned for Derek to follow him into the Gallows. The mage looked back at his companions one last time, gave them what he hoped looked like a reassuring smile, and then preceded to follow the Templar.

Derek wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. He had never been in the Gallows like this. He’d avoided them as often as he could since arriving in Kirkwall. He came here only when business dictated him to. For a while after Bethany had been taken, he’d stomped to the Gallows, demanding to see his youngest sister. He’d learned from Anders that once a mage went to the Circle, they often broke ties with their family. They weren’t allowed visitors. That had only made him madder. At one point, he and Vera had to be dragged away from the Templars, away from the Gallows, by their friends, who had seen the growing frustration of the Templars and had known that a fight then and there with the Templars wouldn’t have solved anything.

He had stopped his yelling, stopped his demanding, when he’d noticed the toll it took on his mother. His mother… He hadn’t even been allowed to see Bethany and tell her. He hadn’t even been the one to tell Carver about their mother’s fate… That guilt still weighed heavily on him.

A part of him expected to be taken to a cell – the Circle’s pathetic excuse for rooms for the mages – to see his sister. A part of him still expected this to be a trap. But shortly after they entered the Circle, they hadn’t walked far before Bethany came into view. She stood there, another Templar at her side, clothed in the typical Circle mage gown. Despite the fact that the clothes was a reminder of her current residence here, she looked beautiful in them. _Maker,_ she reminded him of their mother. She reminded him of Vera, when he and his twin had been younger. Regal and beautiful with a dangerous edge to her. Bethany was a sweet young woman, there was no doubt about it, but she was also a Hawke. And every Hawke was dangerous. Every Hawke could be badass.

She smiled widely and warmly and started moving toward him. He picked up his pace and met her halfway, catching her in his arms and twirling her around like he’d done when they had been kids. Her arms were wrapped firmly across his shoulders and around his neck. It was clear in the way she hugged him that she had missed him, and it showed in the way he held her that the feeling was mutual.

He didn’t want to let her go. He was afraid that if he let her go, he’d never get her back. The thought of rescuing her, escaping the Gallows with her grew in his mind. At the very least, he thought he could get her out to where Kenrick, Sebastian, and Fenris waited for him. It would be a fight to get back to their estate, but the news would spread through Kirkwall. One of its Champions defying the Circle. He had no doubt that the news would reach his friends no matter where in town they were. And they would come to help. But getting out of the city… It would be like fighting the Qunari again, except without the Templars on his side this time.

Bethany must have recognized the look on his face, read his thoughts in his eyes. She pulled away from his embrace, her smile never wavering. He wondered how she could still smile so warmly, but he was thankful that the Circle hadn’t taken that from her.

“It’s good to see you,” she said, and just like when he was reading her letters, he wondered what she wasn’t telling him.

“Sorry it took so long,” he joked, “Been a bit busy keeping this city from shitting itself.”

Bethany laughed, a sound he had so desperately needed to hear. “My big brother and sister – the _Champions of Kirkwall.”_ She spoke proudly of them, but a note of sadness crept into her voice as she continued. “Even Carver should be impressed. Mother… Mother would be proud of both of you.”

He felt that heavy weight of guilt return, and his shoulders slumped slightly. “She’d be proud of you too.”

That caused Bethany to pause. Derek guessed what she was thinking. Their mother had spent so long, so much energy and time to keep them out of any Circle, away from the Chantry’s grasp, away from the ever present threat of a Templar’s sword. Their mother had been so brokenhearted when she’d been discovered and taken away. She was a Circle mage now… Would their mother be proud?

He broke her train of thought by gently grasping her chin and making her meet his eyes. “Mother _would_ be proud of you.” And he meant every word. He didn’t like that she was in the Circle, but in no way did that make him think she was weak. Each day she survived served to prove her strength more and more. She had never needed to prove her strength to him, perhaps she needed to prove it to herself, but he, Vera, and Carver had always known how strong Bethany was, and he knew Bethany knew that. He had always made sure to let her know her strengths, the same way he’d made sure Vera and Carver knew theirs. He was the eldest, the one now responsible for all of them. If they faltered in believing in themselves, he saw it as his job to pick up the slack and believe in them for them.

Bethany smiled softly at him, and he lowered his hand back to his side.

“Have you heard from Carver?” she asked.

“He’s sent a few letters,” Derek replied, “Not any recently, but I assume he’s just gotten busy. I think he enjoys being a Warden more than he’ll admit.”

Bethany nodded. “It suits him, protecting people in his own way.”

“No longer in my shadow,” he didn’t mean to sound upset at that. He’d never wanted Carver to feel like he overshadowed him. He’d wanted his younger brother to shine on his own. Instead, he’d been rewarded with resentment and bitterness. A part of him hoped that being in the Wardens would cause Carver to open up more to him. He hoped that finally stepping out on his own would make his brother less resentful, less bitter.

Bethany was giving him a stubborn frown. “It’s not like you put him there on purpose,” she stated, and the tone of her voice told him that that wasn’t up for debate. “You never wanted either of us to be in your shadow. It’s not like you had much of a say in it. It wasn’t your choice whether people saw us as ourselves or Derek and Vera’s kid brother and sister.”

“How have _you_ been?” Derek asked, giving in and not debating with her.

There was a hesitation. She tried to hide it, but he noticed.

“I’m doing fine,” came the answer, a smile still on her face. He couldn’t tell if it was faked or if she managed to keep smiling out of the happiness of seeing him. “I’m learning a lot under the First Enchanter.”

“I’m sure I could have taught you anything he knows,” Derek muttered stubbornly. After their father had passed, he’d partly taken up teaching Bethany.

She just raised an eyebrow at him.

He huffed. “I _could have._ You don’t have to be in a Circle to learn magic.” That got him a look from Cullen and the other Templar. He shot the look right back, silently daring them to argue with him. Cullen just sighed, a note of frustration in the sound, deciding it wasn’t worth the headache an argument with the eldest Hawke would cause.

“But I’m not running anymore,” Bethany pointed out, gaining his attention back. “This would have happened eventually, you know that.”

At that, Derek felt a pang of anger. _“No,_ I don’t know that and neither do you. Maker, I should have let you come to the Deep Roads with us.”

The smile on her face disappeared, replaced by a frown. “You don’t know what would have happened, if I’d gone to the Deep Roads with you. Maybe I would have caught the Blight instead of Carver or with Carver. Maybe the Grey Wardens would have only accepted one of us or not accepted me.”

“If you caught the Blight,” Derek practically declared, “The Wardens would have taken you in. I would have made sure they did. You’d be a Warden now–”

“I don’t want to be a Warden!”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a Warden! They’re a good fit–”

“For _Carver!”_ she snapped, her voice raised and her own anger showing. It was enough to make Derek clasp his mouth shut. He wasn’t used to Bethany getting angry at _him,_ let alone enough to get her to raise her voice. She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out, forcing herself to relax. She met his gaze and spoke firmly. “They’re a good fit for _Carver_ not me. I don’t want to be a Warden, Derek…”

He let out a sigh. It sounded heavier than he’d meant it to. “You’d rather be chained in this Circle?”

Bethany shook her head. “Do I look like I’m in chains?”

“You’re a _prisoner!”_ Derek found himself saying, ignoring how Cullen’s eyes snapped back on him. “You can’t leave! Can she leave?!” He turned to Cullen as he demanded an answer, but before the Templar could even think to answer, he was back to facing his sister. “You _can’t_ leave! Bethany, this is the first time in _years_ that I’ve been allowed to see you! I have to ask permission to see my own sister!”

Her frustration returned. “And can you just walk over to the Wardens and see Carver?”

“No, and I’m pissed about _that_ too,” he replied sharply, “But at least I know the Wardens aren’t hurting Carver. At least I know that the Wardens have Carver’s back.”

“And who says I’m being hurt?” the question came out even, her tone sharp like a dagger. “I have never once said I’m in danger. I’ve never once said that the Templars are hurting or abusing me. Do you think every Templar here is out to get the mages? Out to get _me?”_

Derek found himself sighing again. “There are good and bad Templars just as there are good and bad mages. And how do I know they’d let you tell me if something was wrong? You know what I would do if they ever even _thought_ about hurting you, and I bet my ass Meredith can guess what I’d do.”

He left it unsaid in front of the two Templars, but he knew Bethany knew what he would do. He would forgo any attempts to diffuse the tensions between mages and Templars. He would forgo any attempts to peacefully get Meredith to lighten up on the mages, any attempts to peacefully get the Chantry to make the Circle better. He would forgo any attempts to lessen the bloodshed. He would _raze_ the Circle, the Templars, and the very Chantry itself. He would kick down Meredith’s door and take her on himself. And he wouldn’t stop until one of them were dead.

 _“Champion,”_ there was a clear threat in Cullen’s tone.

Derek ignored him.

“I’m _fine,”_ Bethany said, her voice softer, trying to comfort her brother. “I’m happy here.”

He wanted to believe her. He so desperately wanted to believe her and stop worrying. But he didn’t believe her, at least not fully. Kirkwall’s Circle was many things, but _fine_ and _happy_ weren’t one of them. However his strength was drained. He didn’t have the energy to argue anymore.

“Alright,” he gave her the best smile he could muster. Even if he didn’t believe her, if it comforted her to think he did, then he would put on his best show. Whatever made Bethany happy, he would do.

He noticed Cullen step forward and glanced over at the Templar.

“I’m sorry, Champion,” Cullen started, and he did look apologetic. “But I think it’d be best if you leave now.”

It took Derek a moment to register that. He looked from Cullen to Bethany.

She gave him a smile. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“Can I come back?” he asked, his gaze falling onto Cullen.

The Templar shrugged. “You would have to ask Meredith.”

“Oh I will,” he stated firmly. He turned back to his sister and gave her another hug.

She clung to him for a moment, whispering, “I love you, big brother.”

He felt that guilt return and had to blink his eyes. He refused to cry in front of Templars. “I love you too, Beth.” He released her and watched her follow the Templar back farther into the Gallows.

He followed Cullen out of the Gallows, where he found Kenrick, Sebastian, and Fenris waiting for him. The three were conversing about something – he didn’t catch the topic. When he emerged, they stopped and all looked to him, looking for any sign that something was wrong. He flashed them the best smile he could muster before turning to Cullen.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” he said, earning a raised eyebrow from the other man. “I want the fighting in this city to stop. I want the problems to be worked out peacefully.”

“Some might say that’s naive,” Cullen pointed out.

Derek shrugged. “Then I’m naive.” He turned and started making his way over to his friends, pulling his hood back up and over his head. After a few paces he stopped. “But know this, Cullen: should any harm come to my sister – should I ever discover she’s been hurt or made tranquil, I don’t care the reasoning behind it–” He looked over his shoulder, his blue eyes staring right at the Templar. He had a feeling Cullen knew what he was going to say. He could have left the threat unsaid, silent between them, but instead, he spoke it with all the venom, all the anger he could muster.

_“I will come for Meredith’s head.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Like/reblog on Tumblr [here](http://magicrobins.tumblr.com/post/157128420510/little-do-you-know).


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